ugh

[starzki]

I actually dreamed that I was asleep last night.  Well, I dreamed that I fell asleep on the bus and woke up on the far west side of the city.  Then I had to try and catch a cab back, but I kept falling down because I was so tired.  But the weirdest part of the whole thing is that I don't take any East-West buses.  I'm a North-South girl.  Whatever.  I then woke up and it was 5 AM and I stayed up worrying about finding a way to get to Toronto in November.  Talked to Lisa yesterday and she said it was really expensive, around $600 for flight and hotel room and everything and that it only gets more expensive the longer we wait.  All this money so that I can speak in public despite my terrific stage fright.  I really must be a masochist (but it looks fabulous on a CV)

I feel terrible.  It's not like I have the flu.  It's more like my whole body is waiting for something.  I'm not achy, but bone tired.  My stomach isn't sick, but churning.  I don't have a headache, but there's something wrong with my vision (other than my normal myopia).

I want to go home so that I might be coddled and petted and taken care of.  Self-reliance is wonderful, but I need a vacation.