Family Drama
Feb. 7th, 2007 03:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
starzkiI talked to my Grandma a couple of days ago and the conversation is just sticking with me.
The majority of the talk centered around my very pregnant (and still unmarried) cousin. She's due in March.
It seems as though my cousin has decided against adoption and wants to keep the baby, herself. While I feel that this would probably not be a good idea, it's not up to me to decide what is best. It's my cousin's decision and it looks like she's making it.
I am working myself up into a lather about how her family is handling the situation. Let me first say that this particular branch of my family is the most violent. My mother's sister had very little self-esteem growing up, so she attached herself to the first man who showed romantic interest. It turned out he was short-tempered and prone to abuse, but after four kids, my aunt refused to leave him.
I love my cousins and have seen the damage that growing up in that environment has caused them. They all have very little self-esteem, yet are all extremely foul-mouthed and violent (especially towards one another). They love each other and are fiercely loyal, but that has its own problems (especially when police should be getting involved).
My pregnant cousin wants to bring a new baby into this environment. I just don't know.
I would have no issue if she were planning on making a new start of everything, growing up and taking appropriate responsibility for a new life, but that's not the case. Her boyfriend (the babydaddy) still hasn't told his parents that they're going to be grandparents. My cousin hasn't visited their house (where he still lives) since she started showing. This is not a sign of maturity or readiness to become a parent. Her boyfriend hasn't even started looking for a job to support his new family yet.
My cousin, instead, is returning to the house she grew up in to raise her own child in. This could be okay if the family rallied together to become the kind of household that is positive and nurturing to a baby. However, I just don' see this change coming either. My aunt is refusing to have a baby shower for my cousin because she's "too embarrassed" to show off her unwed and pregnant daughter.
That poor baby should be welcomed into our family, not shunted away because its conception was less than ideal according to whatever code of morals that family decides to live by that particular day. That poor kid is doomed.
The majority of the talk centered around my very pregnant (and still unmarried) cousin. She's due in March.
It seems as though my cousin has decided against adoption and wants to keep the baby, herself. While I feel that this would probably not be a good idea, it's not up to me to decide what is best. It's my cousin's decision and it looks like she's making it.
I am working myself up into a lather about how her family is handling the situation. Let me first say that this particular branch of my family is the most violent. My mother's sister had very little self-esteem growing up, so she attached herself to the first man who showed romantic interest. It turned out he was short-tempered and prone to abuse, but after four kids, my aunt refused to leave him.
I love my cousins and have seen the damage that growing up in that environment has caused them. They all have very little self-esteem, yet are all extremely foul-mouthed and violent (especially towards one another). They love each other and are fiercely loyal, but that has its own problems (especially when police should be getting involved).
My pregnant cousin wants to bring a new baby into this environment. I just don't know.
I would have no issue if she were planning on making a new start of everything, growing up and taking appropriate responsibility for a new life, but that's not the case. Her boyfriend (the babydaddy) still hasn't told his parents that they're going to be grandparents. My cousin hasn't visited their house (where he still lives) since she started showing. This is not a sign of maturity or readiness to become a parent. Her boyfriend hasn't even started looking for a job to support his new family yet.
My cousin, instead, is returning to the house she grew up in to raise her own child in. This could be okay if the family rallied together to become the kind of household that is positive and nurturing to a baby. However, I just don' see this change coming either. My aunt is refusing to have a baby shower for my cousin because she's "too embarrassed" to show off her unwed and pregnant daughter.
That poor baby should be welcomed into our family, not shunted away because its conception was less than ideal according to whatever code of morals that family decides to live by that particular day. That poor kid is doomed.
