Vent

[starzki]

I really need to learn to make this my primary place to vent my frustrations.  And not, you know, in front of faculty.  Especially the not-so-discrete members of our faculty.  I don't think I've screwed myself yet, but I'm getting dangerously close.  One of these days I'm going to say something and someone will realize I'm not as smart as I've seemed to convince everyone that I am and I'll be SOL.  Today I even got an elbow to the ribs from a fellow student (who was trying to look out for me) as I went on a tangent about what I think the department should be working on.  I completely ignored him and just let it all out anyway.  Then I got into a fight with another classmate (and really good friend of mine) because her advisor is a dick who is threatening to resign if they hire another female-centered researcher, even if that person is the best candidate for the position.  This has nothing to do with furthering my own research.  I just want someone who is responsive to and respectful the needs of faculty and students.  I've been going to school for over 20 straight years now.  I don't need another fucking lecture about what I should be doing.  I need someone who will help me finish what I already know I need to do.  Now, I'm sure there is a more political way to talk about all of this, especially in front of faculty, but I just couldn't keep it in today.  I really, really, really need to just shut up and let my steam off in the appropriate places.

My entire morning and early afternoon was spent in meetings.  And nothing that we talked about for hours and hours will make a bit of difference in anything.