"Balls."

I've not been sleeping well.  About every other morning at 5AM, I get my "dissertation heart attack."  It consists of me waking up at 5AM (or thereabouts) and then proceeding to panic over the state of my dissertation.  My heart goes all rapid and I start to get sweaty.  And I fret for a good hour about how little I get done on my dissertation every day and whether or not I'll ever actually finish it and, if I don't, how much of a wasted couple of years I've been spending on this stupid thing.

Finally, around 6-6:30AM, I calm down enough to try to distract myself with other thoughts so I can get to sleep and be rested so that I can actually write the stupid thing later.  I've found that the best distraction seems to be writing fanfiction lemons in my head.  Go figure.

So, this morning I had a bout of "dissertation heart attack," followed by "people-are-awful-and-the-world-sucks general anxiety," so I was up from about 5-8AM this morning and no amount of dirty thoughts was going to put me to sleep.  Good thing I work at home!

I did get a good chunk of work done today.  I especially liked the four hours of research that resulted in two whole sentences in my dissertation! ;-P

Blarg.

ETA.  Blarg!  Brian iz ded.