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God, but it's been a busy day.
First, I chatted way to long with K. Then I left feeling terribly envious of a recent turn of events in her life. So I fumed over that for a little while. Not that I'm not happy for her, but I feel like I'm getting stuck. I'm working hard, but at the same time, I'm just spinning my wheels.
Then, at my meeting, we started talking about having a life outside of our work and how it does or doesn't fit into academia. That whole conversation made my stomach hurt. I know that when I start looking for a job, I want tenure track. I want to work. I want to be considered someone who knows the field and has at least contributed a little. My problem is that I don't know how to fit a life into all of that, too. I've been unsuccessful in my attempts to juggle the two, even at this early stage. And it's only going to get harder from now on. But the idea of sacrificing a life for work is just too depressing to even consider.
I've spent the rest of the day in emails. I emailed Claire Renzetti. The Claire Renzetti! Swooning over academic fame is so geeky, but I just can't help it. I've also been trying to track down the status of my manuscript, but I have this sinking feeling that it has slipped through the cracks somewhere and I'll never hear from it again.
I can't believe it's only Tuesday.
First, I chatted way to long with K. Then I left feeling terribly envious of a recent turn of events in her life. So I fumed over that for a little while. Not that I'm not happy for her, but I feel like I'm getting stuck. I'm working hard, but at the same time, I'm just spinning my wheels.
Then, at my meeting, we started talking about having a life outside of our work and how it does or doesn't fit into academia. That whole conversation made my stomach hurt. I know that when I start looking for a job, I want tenure track. I want to work. I want to be considered someone who knows the field and has at least contributed a little. My problem is that I don't know how to fit a life into all of that, too. I've been unsuccessful in my attempts to juggle the two, even at this early stage. And it's only going to get harder from now on. But the idea of sacrificing a life for work is just too depressing to even consider.
I've spent the rest of the day in emails. I emailed Claire Renzetti. The Claire Renzetti! Swooning over academic fame is so geeky, but I just can't help it. I've also been trying to track down the status of my manuscript, but I have this sinking feeling that it has slipped through the cracks somewhere and I'll never hear from it again.
I can't believe it's only Tuesday.
